The Year of the Elbow

According to people way smarter than I am, the elbow is the hardest part of the human body. In self-defense courses, students are instructed to strike with the elbow because it can deal a world of hurt very quickly. What that joint lacks in size, it more than makes up for in destructive, face-wrecking force.

So it's no surprise that in a sport like basketball, with guys flying through the air, barreling into traffic, and colliding at full speed, elbow "incidents" happen with modest regularity. Because it's so frequent, an elbow collision isn't particularly exciting or note-worthy. But this NBA season seems different. I can't recall a time where more havoc and mayhem has been caused by that little joint.

In fact, one can argue that the elbow (and all the shenanigans it has gotten into) has been the main subplot of this entire season. There have been no fewer than five significant elbow related stories that basketball pundits have covered extensively. I've done you the favor of ranking their quality below. The criteria I used to list them is entirely arbitrary, completely biased, and utterly subjective. Disagree? Tough cookies. It's my blog.

So without further adieu, The Year of the Elbow.

Number 5: LeBron's Elbow "Injury"

This story gets dead-last, because frankly, it isn't even a story. The King is acting like a baby. Sure his elbow might be sore, but then again, who doesn't have at least one nagging injury that refuses to go away? Hell, I jammed my thumb playing ball a few weeks ago, and you don't see me complaining (but seriously, my thumb hurts). Guess what, LeBron? All NBA players are dealing with pain. Nash's hip, Duncan's wooden peg-leg, Kobe's finger, etc. The list goes on and on. And don't try to play it off as the media over-hyping it. Shooting that free-throw as a leftie (check around the 3:20 mark) caused the ensuing media maelstrom. Sleep in the bed you make. This should get no more attention from anyone and it certainly won't from me. Moving on.


Number 4: Manu's Nose and Dirk's Elbow -- A Love Story

Those out of towners generally have a style all their own. From grown men wearing pastel capris to tiny, chain-smoking women sporting thick woolen scarfs in the middle of summer (both examples were seen during a summer abroad in Greece), the Euro's and fellows from south of the border don't play by the draconian fashion rules imposed by uptight United States society. But damn Ginobili, really?

This unique look (and I don't want to hear about it's medical necessity) was caused by Mr. Nowitzki's rogue left elbow. On a drive to the hoop early in the third quarter of game 3 between the Spurs and Mavericks, Ginobili's late defensive rotation put his Argentinian nose on a collision course with the German's pointy elbow. The drive-by elbowing simultaneously broke Manu's nose and launched a free advertising campaign for Kotex.

One major positive for the decidedly uncool Manu is that he now joins the very exclusive "I've Pulled-off the Band Aid as a Fashion Statement" club. I'm sure the club's president is not amused.

Peep the collision here.


Number 3: Bogut's Buck-ling 'bow

While elbows are generally known for dishing it out, this one turns the tables. An elbow was on the receiving end of the pain train this time. On a fast-break dunk against the Phoenix Suns at the end of the regular season, defensive-stud Andrew Bogut of the Milwaukee Bucks landed awkwardly on his right elbow after throwing down a monster jam. The result, well, was not pretty. Other than appearing to hurt like none other, the tumble tore major ligaments and dislocated several bones.


I'm no doctor, but I don't think an arm is supposed to bend that way.

It's a damn shame, because the Bucks were rolling at that point of the season, and Bogut was the man-in-the-middle making their Cinderella run a reality. With him out, the Bucks lost the wind in their sails and were subsequently eliminated in the first round against the Atlanta Hawks.


Number 2: Landry Loves His Sauerkraut

That Dirk and his elbows just can't stay out of trouble. During a rather mundane regular season game between the Houston Rockets and Dallas Mavericks, perhaps the most grizzly and gruesome of all the elbow incidents listed occurred. Nowitzki, with his awkwardly unique (and surprisingly effective) helter-skelter driving ability, got into the lane for what looked like an easy lay-in.

Or so he thought.

Carl Landry, the no-nonsense ex-Houston Rocket, was going to have none of it. Instead of absorbing the contact with his body however, Landry decided his pearly whites would serve as a better deterrent. The accident was so gnarly that three of Landy's teeth were embedded into Dirk's elbow. Both needed surgery to correct the damage, but only Dirk needed to take some time off. Landry bounced right back and played in the Rockets' next game, recording an astonishing 27 points. What a tough dude.


Just another day at the office for Carl "I'm Way More Manly Than You" Landry.

But the reason why this one is so great and why it holds the second place spot is because of how Landry handles himself. Watch the video again. There isn't a shred of pain on his face as he signals to the bench asking for a sub. It almost seems like he's bored with it all. He then calmly meanders to the sideline, grabs a white towel, and spits out a giant red ball of blood and dislodged teeth. Now that is how a man is supposed to deal with pain. This video should be required viewing for any Man 101 course.

Which brings us to our number 1 entry (drum roll please).....


Number 1: The Nash Gash

This elbow incident was epic on so many levels. First, you have the terrifying results:


You should probably get the kids to leave the room now.

Not only do we have Steve Nash's right eye bloodied and swollen to the point of blindness, but the future-hall-of-famer saw it fit to open his left eye as wide as possible. Don't know about you, but from here on out I'm sleeping with the lights on. Most players would call it quits after something like that, but Nash is Canadian. He has that stalwart hockey toughness built into his DNA. The spry veteran went to the locker room, got patched up, and was back in the game for the fourth quarter of their series close-out win against the San Antonio Spurs, their long-time rival.

And what a fourth quarter he had. Among redefining what it meant to execute the no-look pass (hah!), Nash dominated that last quarter. From top-to-bottom, he went off, dropping 10 points and dishing out 4 assists in the final 12 minutes of play, all while getting to wherever he wanted on the court. It's almost as if he had to one up Goran Dragic's performance from the game before, just to remind us all that this was still his team.

Sure that elbow to the noggin' may have hurt, but because of it, that game will go down in Suns lore as one of the greatest ever. We will talk about this performance in hushed voices and reflect on the "Nash Gash" game with warm, nostalgic feelings. Except Spurs fans I suppose; they are exempt from liking it.

Epic figures battling major ailments (such as Jordan's Flu Game or Kirk Gibson's Homerun in the 1988 World Series) tend to produce some of the most dramatic and iconic individual sporting performances. They capture our attention, elevate the moment, and refuse to let go of us. And on Sunday May 9th, 2010, thanks in no small part to an elbow, Nash delivered a performance that entered that storied pantheon.

And that, dear readers, is why it's The Year of the Elbow.